But They Did Mention Love...

They warned me about the sleepless nights, about the busyness and diapers. They warned me about the attitudes the tantrums and picky eaters. They told me how fast it would go and to really soak it in but all of that could never prepare me for my world that was within.

They never told me how much worry would come with such a tiny person. How I would worry about every little thing from their weight to the color of their poop. They never told me about the anxiety I would feel as I took on this new role, how I would be crippled by all kinds of it from social settings to just sitting at home. They never told me how lonely I would feel and how often I would feel like a stranger. How I would look in the mirror and sometimes not recognize the person staring back. No one mentioned the fact that my brain no longer belonged to me. That it would only be filled with thoughts of what needed to be done, what should be getting done or what I may have already forgotten to do.

But they did mention one thing….LOVE and it pours in over flowing each and everyday. It floods through the windows every time she says “mama” and it fills the empty cracks with each little smile she shows. It grows and changes and just when I think there cannot possibly be any more room for more it pushes through and finds the little bits of me still in need of some repair. Although they never warned me of a multitude of things the one thing they always said rings true with everyday. Motherhood is messy, its hard and it’s lonely. But the love that tiny soul exudes and multiples each day make up for all the darkest days and light up all the grey.

Bye For Now,

From One Wild Mother to Another